Friday, December 12, 2008

And now for the star of our show, Complete Humiliation!

OK, so these are the winners out of the millions of queries I got. Thanks, Matt. I hope you respect me in the morning.
1, Matt from Decatur writes:
Can you claim the absence of a soul on your insurance, or would they tell you to just buy some brunette Nice'n Easy?

In the absence of a state-approve soul checker, they simply close their eyes and try to get me out of their office as soon as possible.
2. Matt from Decatur also asks:
Does the carpet match the rug or are we looking at hardwood floors?

Two words: Cave pubes.
No really, the carpet doesn't match the drapes, though they're in complementary tones. No hardwood...reminds me of a little girl (ugh), plus I like my nether regions to have protection against the cold.

3. Will you ever be seen on the river again?
Well definitely I will hang out and be RP, but I will probably get back out in a kayak next summer. I just have to lose some weight, get back into my kayaking clothes, and find a boat that fits. But I will be spending a LOT of time on the Cartecay and Nanty before I be hitting the O.

4. Will you ever have sex again?
At this point, it's looking doubtful. I think I need to adopt 5 more cats and embrace being a crazy cat lady. Tools usually do a better job anyway. That way I can just be a crazy aunt to Matty, Davis and Miles...call me Auntie Mame.

5. What are you most looking forward to right now?
My ski/snowboard trip in January. I got all my gear so I am psyched. I am going to be bruised and tired from falling on my ass all day, but it's a good group, and I know it'll be a blast. Oh yeah, and I get to sleep with a gay man. Yay.











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